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Giving Feedback

Summary

  • Be (very) concrete
  • State facts don't make assumptions
    • Where/When did it happen (also see: concrete)
    • What did the other person do or say (facts)
      • NOT "I believe you said that because you thought..."
  • Impact on me or others
    • How did that make me feel?

Notes

Spontaneous Feedback (e.g. after a Meeting)

  • What can I do differently? Why?
  • What could I have done better?

SBIS

  • Situation
    • Give concrete context / situation
  • Behaviour
    • Observation and not assumption
  • Impact
    • impact on (and feelings for) me and/or others
  • Suggestion or Request
    • I can request -> other can reject

Perparation (for difficult feedbacks)
My Goals & Intentions

  • What do I want to achieve? What is the key message?
  • What outcome do I expect
  • Do I have all information
  • Do I wish my "vis-a-vis" to prepare and or self reflect beforehand?
  • Setting and timing.

Our Relationship

  • my role
  • current relationship
  • biased history?
  • haveing my mood and attitude in check

Vis-a-Vis expectations

  • Whats the current mood and situation of my vis-a-vis (let them at least mentally prepare for it)
  • What is the conversation about
  • Are the intendet goals of us tow in conflic or in congruence?

5 phases (plus)

  • plus
    • Context: invite and inform (clearly and) transparently why I want to talk and whats the core theme
  • Phase 1 (key, we have to start well!)
    • Connect: build an atmosphere (e.g. Small talk or make it explicit "It's gonna be a difficult situation and I feel a bit nervouse about it.)
    • Frame: set a clear context: "why are we here?", make a clear cut after the connection
      • Maybe I have to make a concrete switch ".. Thats very interesting but we have to switch to the actual topic, ..."
    • Naming: Name the facts (issue) in the beginning. Use the SBIS model
  • Phase 2
    • Listen to the vis-a-vis perspective
  • Phase 3
    • Share my perspective, state a request (SBIS)
  • Phase 4
    • Seek alignment (not necessary agreement). How do we proceed?. Together (or the other). Let them make suggestions (I can add).
    • Make a contract on the way forward.
  • Phase 5
    • Close consciously
    • Don't "water it down" ("But it is actually ok what you do...", "It's not that bad... ")