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Giving Feedback

Summary

  • Be (very) concrete
  • State facts don't make assumptions
    • Where/When did it happen (also see: concrete)
    • What did the other person do or say (facts)
      • NOT "I believe you said that because you thought..."
  • Impact on me or others
    • How did that make me feel?

Notes

Spontaneous Feedback (e.g. after a Meeting)
* What can I do differently? Why?
* What could I have done better?

SBIS
- Situation
- Give concrete context / situation
- Behaviour
- Observation and not assumption
- Impact
- impact on (and feelings for) me and/or others
- Suggestion or Request
- I can request -> other can reject

Perparation (for difficult feedbacks)
My Goals & Intentions
- What do I want to achieve? What is the key message?
- What outcome do I expect
- Do I have all information
- Do I wish my "vis-a-vis" to prepare and or self reflect beforehand?
- Setting and timing.

Our Relationship
- my role
- current relationship
- biased history?
- haveing my mood and attitude in check

Vis-a-Vis expectations
- Whats the current mood and situation of my vis-a-vis (let them at least mentally prepare for it)
- What is the conversation about
- Are the intendet goals of us tow in conflic or in congruence?

5 phases (plus)
- plus
- Context: invite and inform (clearly and) transparently why I want to talk and whats the core theme
- Phase 1 (key, we have to start well!)
- Connect: build an atmosphere (e.g. Small talk or make it explicit "It's gonna be a difficult situation and I feel a bit nervouse about it.)
- Frame: set a clear context: "why are we here?", make a clear cut after the connection
- Maybe I have to make a concrete switch ".. Thats very interesting but we have to switch to the actual topic, ..."
- Naming: Name the facts (issue) in the beginning. Use the SBIS model
- Phase 2
- Listen to the vis-a-vis perspective
- Phase 3
- Share my perspective, state a request (SBIS)
- Phase 4
- Seek alignment (not necessary agreement). How do we proceed?. Together (or the other). Let them make suggestions (I can add).
- Make a contract on the way forward.
- Phase 5
- Close consciously
- Don't "water it down" ("But it is actually ok what you do...", "It's not that bad... ")